What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
