He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
