i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize