butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
