We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
