he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Terrible idea I love it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
