Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is Oprah even human
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
