do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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