There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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