You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
