Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
