There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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