Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
MIDGETS
????
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize