Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
