Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Randomize
