and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
