How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
