I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i think my cat just said my name.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
