i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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