dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
