I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
