she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
