Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
