He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
