I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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