Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
