just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
