You really coming over, don't trick.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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