Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
