Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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