You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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