You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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