it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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