i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
