I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
