i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
