i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
