singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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