i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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