yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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