I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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