I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
