The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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