so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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