Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
