direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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