Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
