Dual....:-)
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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