Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
