puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You are a genius and a whore.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
