somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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