My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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