it's like iHOP with fire
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
