Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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