Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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