Your tits are I can't wait for
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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